Telling Fibs to Your Personal Trainer is Laughable and Ludicrous
Bright and early one Monday morning a very good humoured client of mine enters the gym. The first thing he always does is jump on the scales.
“These scales are malfunctioning,” he cries. “ I’m heavier than I was last week.” “You’ve rigged the scales!” “How can this be? I did a ton of exercise last week. I went for two runs, two gym sessions and had a night playing squash.”
To amuse him I stepped onto the scales, “They are accurate, they just don’t like you today!”
He then seats himself on the rower to warm up, “Your scales are wrong!”
I keep quiet as I stand beside the rowing machine, looking at him, waiting…. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten those three Roses chocolates yesterday!”
Bingo! I raise an eyebrow, “What three chocolates? What were you doing eating chocolates?”
“It was Mother’s Day,” he replied. I answered, ‘It was Mothers Day not Alisdairs day!”
Knowing full well that it will take more than three chocolates to tip the scales I enquired, “Is that all you ate? Any biscuits?” (You see I know he has a soft spot for biscuits)!
“No.” Silence. “Oh I had a few glasses of wine.”
“How many is a few ……and how many nights?”
“Just three glasses…. over the past few nights.” Laughingly I said “Oh it’s all coming out now, what else you got?”
“And sticky toffee pudding for dessert last night.”
Now I know that sticky toffee pudding is his favourite dessert in the whole wide world and I wasn’t sure if he was just saying that to wind me up further or not. I questioned “ You really love winding up your personal trainer don’t you, did you really have sticky toffee pudding last night?”
“It was only a small portion,” (fear justifying)! “And I also had an ice cream.” “It’s the girl’s fault, they wanted an ice-cream,” (fear blaming).
So over the course of five minutes he had gone from only eating three chocolates to two bottles of wine and a helping of sticky toffee pudding and an ice-cream!
By now I’m about to hit the roof shouting, “I don’t need this first thing on a Monday morning! Remember the energy equation, energy in verses energy out? All you have managed to do this week is barely maintain. How absurd that you eat that amount of crap and then come in here, jump on the scales and expect to have lost weight! And be annoyed about it! It’s laughable and ludicrous!”
He stood in thought then said, “Well there’s only one thing for it, we will have to foster out the girls so that there is no junk food in the house!”
© Belinda Edmondston 2013. All rights reserved. Cultivating Your Inner Pearl, Reinvention from the Inside Out, Body, Mind, Soul – ISBN 978-0-473-25241-0
